Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize