So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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