I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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