we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She announced her abortion via fbk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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