Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this boner is exhausting
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
