Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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