I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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