I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
