So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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