He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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