we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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