The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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