I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
