is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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