Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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