i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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