Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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