yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
