u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
