Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
