I feel great
I just peed on a car
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
