I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
