This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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