I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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