omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
