My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
