i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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