I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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