Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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