i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
