I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
