my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
