You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
