...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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