we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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