We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
