I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
