i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize