elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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