i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
