Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
