There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
