i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
