Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
