Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
