; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just high enough for therapy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize