wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
