Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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