why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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