If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
