I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
