You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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