Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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