Non-Jews are for practice
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
