i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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