Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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