Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize