i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
