Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
