when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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