Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
