so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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