he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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