I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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