Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
