the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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